I’m not a feminist, but…

Yeah yeah, we’ve heard it all before…

Well here goes my cliched turn: I am not a feminist in the sense of feeling that there is a superior sex. I am, however, a huge believer in equality. I feel as though a fair amount of feminists need to stop pushing for furthering “gender equality” to the point of making women the superior gender. Why be as bad as the force you’ve been fighting for a century? It makes no sense to me. I do appreciate the massive efforts that have been made in the past, e.g. women gaining the vote, and that kind of important progress. However, the real extreme feminists? No… Not for me. Just equality for all, please, and thank you.

So where am I heading? I went out for lunch last week with my grandmother, and we were catching up after me spending the last three months in Madrid. In passing, she mentioned that she was “pleased” that my ex-boyfriend and I had called it a day. When I asked why, she said, because “Men should be the main breadwinner”. My ex didn’t attend university, and coaches tennis, and I have aspirations to go to law school after graduating from Loughborough – so her logic is basic, but understandable. However, for the first time in my life, I felt a stir of irritation on behalf of my gender.

I suddenly felt that if my grandmother felt I should progress in my career, and education, but still felt I should be earning beneath my future husband/boyfriend’s salary, maybe feminism deserves a little more credit than I give it. She is 76 this week, and over the course of 50 or so years, obviously what I assume to be normal opinions have changed quite a lot. Despite this, I was still pretty cross that after all my hard work so far at ‘getting somewhere’, my grandmother would want me to marry someone who would ‘look after me’.

I don’t really have a point to make here, but I think that maybe Destiny’s Child deserve a little more recognition in careers lectures… Queen B is what is pulling me through.. That and wanting to be able to afford a Chanel bag eventually.




4 thoughts on “I’m not a feminist, but…

  1. Can I just say, as a proud and active feminist, surrounded by hundreds of other proud and active feminists; all we want is equality. This man hating pro-matriarchal society stereotype often depicted in movies, TV series, is just that, a stereotype. And maybe there are a few extreme cases out there in the real world too, BUT please don´t confuse us real feminists, with those people.
    The definition of the word feminism according to the Oxford Dictionary; the advocacy of women’s rights on the ground of the equality of the sexes.
    That´s it! Equality.

    1. I noted that I meant extreme feminists, however, point taken. I don’t confuse feminists with film stereotypes, I am going by what I have studied at uni, & read etc. I don’t think all feminists are man-hating, though!! 🙂 sometimes I just think maybe the inequality is a little self-made..? I don’t know – I’m always open minded. Thanks for reading this rubbish though.

  2. Really? You think the in-equality is self made by women? In what way? I´m really interested to hear your opinion on this since you seem to be an intelligent thinking woman, unlike the usual feminist opposition whose normal responses are hateful comments and rape threats. :/

    1. Hm- maybe I phrased this slightly clumsily. I think definitely the inequality now is not so much a problem, basically. I feel that yes – after reading your blog too! – men and women need to equal out their respect for one another. However, women are as disrespectful about men as men are about them! Just in different ways. So I think that this notion of inequality is based on past, more serious inequalities, and now I think needs to be re-addressed and re-labelled. The solution, however, I haven’t quite decided upon yet 😉
      Ps really interesting blog! Really original concept – I like it.

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